RUN FOR YOUR LIFE… #26.2FORYOU

I think I needed a doubt,

I needed a goal.

I needed something I knew I would hate,

So that I could love myself a little more for doing it.

 

 

 

 

 

(FYI that lady that finished before us was a half-marathon runner, also just for the record, i did beat Sean by a tenth of a second.)

 

 

 

I remember watching her lace up her shoes,

Lathering sunscreen on,

Slipping on her Nike hat,

Putting in the earphones that were connected to an old pink ipod in her ears.

The same pink ipod that was once my moms.

 

I never got it.

I never understood why she liked running.

How she could go out,

on dirt roads, ditches and out into the mountains and run

for hours,

and hours…

I never understood how she enjoyed it,

The pain of being alone,

With only your thoughts,

Tune out the rest of the world

And just run.

 

I thought she was crazy when she told me that she loved it,

How it was her distraction,

Her fun,

How she loved it not because of what it was,

But for what it meant to her.

It was her time to heal,

To cope,

Because she said that was the one time that she felt like she was spending quality time with mom in heaven.

 

& I think that’s what the most surprising and absolutely astonishing realizations I had through this process,

Is how even though I committed to do this FOR her,

I realized just how much I am like her,

And how unbelievably

And endlessly,

thankful I am for that.

 

What started as a potential check off the life bucketlist,

a silly comment made at 5:30am,

Ended up being one of the best moments of my life.

From start the end,

From signing up back in November,

To crossing the finish line on May 6th,

From not being able to run 4 miles,

To running 26.2,

This monumental experience has changed me,

and taught me so much.

 

I never liked running,

In fact, I could probably go to the extent to say that I hated it.

It was punishment for the sport I played.

It was hard, I wasn’t good at it and it hurt.

Ive never been the fastest,

The strongest,

The smartest,

The best.

 

But I have had to put in work,

Ive had to push.

Tell myself to not give up,

In sports

And in life.

 

2 ankle surgeries,

3 knee surgeries.

 

The joints feel 65,

While my spirit is still young.

 

I remember my first “Race”

It was a 5k and Erin made me run it.

A 5k is 3.1 miles,

And I thought I was going to cry.

The. Whole. Time.

I remember we ran/walked it.

Then finally I just told her to go on without me,

(dramatic, I know)

And I came in so angry, over the last hill on the Triviz trail, so ready to be done.

Sprinted that last few kilometers and was so mad at her for making me run it.

 

I never wanted to run a marathon,

That’s never been a long time goal.

Its never been on my to-do list,

Or even something I ever thought I would do.

& trust me, there are  A LOT of things I want to do in my life.

But running for 26 miles was not one of them.

That’s whats funny about life,

it changes so fast.

 

I think I needed a doubt,

I needed a goal.

I needed something I knew I would hate,

So that I could love myself a little more for doing it.

 

I admire those who are gritty and tough,

Who do crazy things, with a big heart.

I love people who love people,

even when they are hard to love.

I love people who try to beat the odds,

Who have all the cards against them and still persevere.

I love people who try,

Who give things a shot,

Not because they know they will be good at them,

But because they know they aren’t,

But it will be best for them.

 

So I decided to be that person

 

And throughout the 6 months of marathon training,

I did my best to document it all.

 

NOVEMBER 18TH 2017

It’s easy to do things you’re good at. It’s easy to stick to the familiar faces of people and places.
But that’s not what I want my life to be. I don’t want it to be cliché or common. I want to do as many things as I can, and choose to do them even though it scares me.
My sister loved running & I hate it. But she never had the opportunity to run a full marathon. But I do.
Do I hate myself already? Yes.
But I also know I will grow through the process. Because growth doesn’t come on the good days, it comes on the shitty, cold, knee joint painful, marathon training days.

So here’s to 2018. And making my sister proud.
Please say a prayer for me

DECEMBER 10TH 2017

Last night I went to sleep absolutely dreading waking up and having to run a “longer” run for this week. 6 miles is nothing when I’m supposed to run 26.2 in may. But you have to start somewhere.
But I got up this morning ate my oatmeal, drank my coffee and watched the sunrise. Then I laced up my shoes and ran.
Continuously thankful for my new running friends, the encouragement of my old friends and for the reason for this all @eturner32 ✨💕
Do things that are hard, that’s when you get to grow as a human! Happy Sunday!
#26.2foryou

 

DECEMBER 14TH 2017

✨NEW BLOG✨

26.2 miles.

Because you never got to.

26.2 miles,

Because I never thought I would.

26.2 miles,

Because it scares the shit out of me.

26.2 miles,

Because it hurts and I hate it.

26.2 miles,

Because for every mile i’m going to remember one year of your perfect, beautiful life.
Because you didn’t get to see 27.
So just before my 28th birthday,
On May 6th, 2018.
I’m running
26.2 for you

 

 

DECEMBER 16TH 2017

It was a chilly one this morning 🏃🏼‍♀️❄️
Was scheduled to do an 8 mile run. Which would be the longest run I’ve EVER done in my life.
With the trickery of these amazing ladies and no way of saying no, we ended up doing 9.
Happy Saturday, do a little more today! ✨⚡️

DECEMBER 24TH 2017

Sunday funday included:
•Sunrise hike
•bikyasa (hot yoga)
•chips and salsa
•10 mile run

All with my best friend.
One thing we know is that Mexican food is not a good pre run meal.
Poops and chaffing occurred but we held strong.
Surround yourself with people that push you to be better ✨
Happy Sunday y’all!

 

DECEMBER 30TH 2017

The last Saturday morning of 2017 was one for the books!
•Woke up at 4:30am and ran 10 miles. It was terrible and I hated it. But the sunrise was amazing and after it was done I thanked my lucky stars that I’m healthy, happy and able to do this.
•Then I got to Crossfit with my best friend.
There’s so many things to be thankful for but today- and this morning I’m feeling extra thankful for New and old friendships, my bodies ability to do ordinary and extraordinary things, goals that I’ve accomplished and ones I am working towards. And a life that I continuously enjoy- day after day ✨✨

 

JANUARY 12TH 2018

If there’s one thing I’ve learned with this marathon training is that motivation isn’t hard to have. I’m motivated everyday to run, to get better, to do this for my sister.
What people don’t understand is that everyone is motivated to do hard things, but what they lack is execution. The actual action to get shit done. It’s putting that motivation to use and going outside and grinding.
So today again, I didn’t want to run. It hurt. It sucked. My bra was chaffing and my shins started hurting. But you don’t get better by feeling motivated. You get better by doing it.
26.2 is for you.
But I sure am learning a lot about me.

 

JANUARY 14TH 2018

I decided a couple of months ago that i was going to celebrate my mini wins.
The wins that maybe are looked over because they aren’t these monumental moments.
But when I decided that I was going to focus on them daily I realized how much my days turned around and how when I decided to recognize them they in turn made bigger wins down the road a little sweeter.
So today, I had a big win. 13 miles. On two legs that have never ran 13 miles before. On two legs that have had 5 surgeries on them. On two legs that didn’t want to run 13 miles. Ever.
And although it’s easy to break down how slow my pace was and how absolutely awful I felt I decided to remind myself of some mini wins within my BIG WIN.
1. I literally ran the whole thing. Even when nobody was watching and I could’ve walked I didn’t.
2. It was my first solo long run. Just me myself and I.
3. I ran with a fanny pack that annoyed me the ENTIRE time.
4. A random stranger gave me a high five as he ran past me that literally made me SO INCREDIBLY happy.
5. At mile 8 when I could’ve sworn I was gonna pass out, a song came on that I knew my sister hand picked for me. I couldn’t help but to cry. Only for like 5 seconds cause I couldn’t breathe. But that alone got me through.

So celebrate. Be proud. Do your thing.
A win is a win. Even if it’s by half a point

 

JANUARY 28TH 2018

 

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself.”
-Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.


I’m not completely sure what it was. Maybe it was my consistency of hitting my macros this week, maybe it was stopping every 5 miles to eat my GU. Maybe it was all the good vibes I asked for on Snapchat, maybe it was the audio book that I listened to during it.
Whatever it was it worked. I felt it. That little glimpse of hope and prosperity. The fact that no, running doesn’t feel good, and I don’t think it ever will. But it wasn’t miserable. I paced well, it was a beautiful day, and I felt humbled by the whole thing.
14 miles is only half of the end goal. But today’s goal was smashed 🤜🏼🤛🏼 and if there’s anything I know about myself, it’s that the pain will always be there, talking about more than just running, in life in general. But if I can withstand the pain and keep going- that’s how I know I’ve truly won ✨
Happy Sunday little loves!
Go be happy, you deserve it! #26.2foryou

JANUARY 30TH 2018

Some days it’s not about anything other than you.
Sure you can have reasons, goals, priorities, people you don’t want to disappoint.
But today it was about me.
Me.
Lacing up my shoes.
Challenging myself.
Wanting to get lost.
Doing something for the first time.
Losing all sense of time.
Not caring about my pace or that I don’t “need” to run trails for my marathon.
Today it was about me.
Because tomorrow, is anxiously lingering in the back of my mind.
7 years without my mom and all I could do is this.
So today I feel strong, but tomorrow I won’t.
Do your thing ✨ I’ll do mine.

 

FEBRUARY 9TH 2018

The theory of a reverse bucket list grabbed my attention. I have always been one to look forward, to set goals, to want to do things I’ve never done before.
But just as exciting as doing those things are, it’s important to remember and celebrate the things you HAVE ALREADY DONE.
Looking back on the hard road that got you here can be scary, but it can be just as inspiring.
Funny how quick we are to write off the things we have done in the past so that we can solely focus on the things we want in the future.
Today I challenge you to find your wins from the past. Find some moments that were brilliant. Remember the goals you’ve already smashed. Celebrate those today! ✨
Celebrate the road that got you where you are today!
You’re doing great babes, if nobody has told you lately, I’m proud of you!

 

FEBRUARY 13th 2018

I love the way my mind wanders when I run. Some days it’s memories and bliss, some days it’s emotional and missed.
But days like today it went somewhere different.
I got to thinking how in life people and myself chase this ultimate goal. If it’s career, relationship, fitness or personal endeavor related, we want to be the best at something. We want to be known for something and remembered for that huge accomplishment. But what I began to realize is that maybe that’s not what this is about, maybe I’m not meant for greatness or to do anything life altering. Maybe this is it, to do all these little things in an “okay” way but to be able to do it my way.
So no, I’ll never write a best selling book, or I’ll never be at the Crossfit games, Hell, i definitely won’t run a record breaking marathon. But hey, that’s okay. Cause I would rather experience ALL of these things then get caught up in one and maybe always be disappointed.
Life is good y’all ✨
And being average isn’t all that bad 🙃

FEBRUARY 19TH 2018

Here’s some Monday honesty-
I’ve been struggling lately with balance.
The balance of life, goals, and trusting the process.
Training for this marathon has been mentally and physically hard. Like HARD. The motivation is there. I want to do it. I wouldn’t have signed up if I didn’t. But it sucks. It hurts. It’s boring and is definitely not my favorite thing to do or what this body was made for.
My thighs are the size of typical marathon runners waists…
It’s truly a grind.
And trying to balance that with something I love to do which is Crossfit and lifting heavy has been mentally and physically hard too.
Running so many miles has been slowly bringing my gains train to a hault. My body is changing and my level of intensity is as well.
Trying to balance a sport like Crossfit and marathon training is absolutely mind boggling.
Fueling yourself for both is just as hard.
They are opposites and most days I’m feeling like a I have no idea what I’m doing.
So in case you were wondering I don’t know what’s happening or how this is all going to go.
But what I do know is that I’m gonna keep putting in the work and finish what I started.
Run ALL the miles.
Lift ALL the weights.
Eat ALL the food.

 

MARCH 6TH 2018

Exactly two more months until #26.2foryou ✨
There’s been days I bitch, complain and say I hate it.
But every single day I run, I know you’re right there on my shoulder cheering me on
(& definitely talking shit cause who would’ve thought?)
AYYYY Let’s do this 🤜🏼🤛🏼

 

 

MARCH 7TH 2018

Yesterday marked exactly 2 months until my marathon.
To be honest, I can’t wait.
For a few reasons:
I can’t wait to cross that finish line.
I can’t wait to not be “training”
I can’t wait to check this off my bucket list.
I can’t wait to say I did it. Not only for me, but for my best friend.
This has been one of the most unbelievably humbling and surprising experiences.
What I originally thought would be a physical battle is more of a mental.
This training has tested my mental strength FAR more than my physical.
Not to say that my body doesn’t hurt, ache and want to shut down, but the pep talks I have to give myself are more frequent.
The hours alone, with only your own thoughts is real.
I work through a lot of things during these runs, my mind wanders to places, faces and things. I get mad, annoyed, happy, thankful, sad, irritated… but by the time it’s over the only thing I think about is how being alive is important, but feeling alive is necessary.
2 more months until I do something I NEVER thought I would do.
These are the moments that make me feel alive even when I feel like dying.
#26.2foryou

 

MARCH 18TH 2018

I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated for the last month with this whole marathon training.
Been having some issues:
-knees and ankles have been aching like no other.
-hamstrings/ hips are so tight.
-it’s been windy AF
– and mostly been having digestive and stomach issues.
All of these things make it pretty easy to make excuses as to why I should skip my runs.
So to be honest, I have been.
But yesterday I was thinking to myself, it’s 2 more months of my life. 2 more months of a grind. That’s it. I can have a stupid little pity party for myself and my body or I could just do it.
Just lace up the shoes and put one foot in front of the other.
It may be slow and I may stop every time I see something pretty so I can take a picture of it but that’s what I love.
That’s how I’ve chose to live my life.
Not letting moments go by without seeing them, feeling them & now writing about them.
The countdown continues.
#26.2foryou
DONT JUST TALK ABOUT IT. BE ABOUT IT.

 

MARCH 25TH 2018

Today was another win.
15 miles.
That’s the most I’ve ever ran. Ever. In. My. Whole. Life.
Like what?
Crazy to think about how 4 months ago i was struggling to run 5 miles. (Which some days I still do)
But for fucks sake this is huge for me.
It was slow and steady but I stayed on my goal pace and I’ll win my own race.
It’s just me vs. me.

The countdown continues. #26.2foryou.

MARCH 30TH 2018

“Living Wright is my personal interpretation of how this crazy life, full of twists and turns, is just an opportunity to find joy in the middle of the chaos and to always, and I mean always, choose love.”
• •
What started off as a travel blog, has grown into something so much more, but as my life transforms and I continue this life journey my goal will remain the same.
To find the joy in life again. To remove myself from all safety nets and jump head first into the unknown.
Here’s to another life adventure.
The countdown continues.
39 days to go!
#26.2foryou

 

APRIL 10TH 2018

Proud of my body for what it’s done for me.
3 knee surgeries.
2 ankle surgeries.
No meniscus.
Years of competitive soccer.
Crossfit 6x a week
& now marathon training


Less than a month until my marathon.
May 6th is coming so unbelievably fast.
People keep asking me if I’m ready…
And my answer has been the same throughout this whole “training.”
Absolutely…. not.
I don’t think I will ever be ready to run 26.2 miles.
Even if I trained religiously. Or concentrated fully on actually training.
But I’m doing it, & I’m ready to finish it.
My goal from the moment I decided to do this, was never to be the best.
It was just to be the best version of me.
The goal was to check it off the bucket list and run it for my sister.
The meaning behind it was the most important.
& it will continue to be until the end of time.
Thankful for my body and it’s capabilities.
Thankful for my health and my mental toughness.
Thankful for a life I wouldn’t choose,
But making the best of.
The countdown continues.

 

APRIL 15TH 2018

Today marks
T H R E E
Weeks
Till my marathon.
Holy shit. What?!
This process has been so humbling.
Today especially.
What was supposed to be my longest run turned into two runs separated by 8 hours and a nap.
What started off as a set plan to run 18 miles got quickly altered by life. I ran 6 this morning then had to attend to something else.
It honestly took everything in me to talk myself into going back out this evening and running more.
As I laced up my shoes I was laughing to myself cause honestly, nobody cares what I do. Only I do. Nobody is telling me I HAVE to run. I chose to.
I don’t have a coach or a training partner. It’s just me.
So I definitely could’ve skipped it and nobody would’ve actually cared.
Just me.
And I think that’s when it made sense. This hasn’t been about anything other than doing this monumental thing, that I am absolutely terrible at and just putting my head down and straight up grinding.
That when I’m an old lady nobody is gonna know that I ran a marathon when I was 27 unless I tell them.
Nobody is going to love me more,
Or any less because of it.
But these moments are mine.
And this life is so,
So very important to me.
That even if nobody knows-
I do.
And that’s the only person I am striving to impress.
The count down continues…
#26.2foryou

 

APRIL 24TH 2018

Grit.Grind.Gratitude.

Most of my favorite moments, memories and accomplishments have come from things I never imagined I would do.
Challenging myself with things that didn’t make sense.
But committing,
& finishing.
This is in terms of relationships, travels, jobs, sports and self discovery.
The best thing you can do for yourself is not cut yourself short.
Have grit.
Find the grind.
&
Always have gratitude.

 

APRIL 27TH 2018

& I hope when life presents you with the opportunity to become a better person, you take it.
I hope you lose friendships and jobs that don’t serve you.
I hope you fall in love with that person that you can be completely weird with, even if it doesn’t make sense.
I hope you do things that scare you,
And when you accomplish them you feel really,
REALLY
Proud.
I hope that when happiness finally shows up, you see it and accept it.
Life is an adventure.
Go for it.


One week till take off ✈️
#26.2foryou

 

MAY 5TH 2018

Happy Cindy de Mayo,
Mama girl 🎉✨
Today has been such an incredible adventure.
What a perfect little weekend to celebrate your life.
I can feel your love most days
But today, it was magnificent 💕

Take care of me tomorrow.
We are about to do this thing 🙌🏻

 

MAY 6TH 2018

#26.2ForYOU


Holy smokes,
We did it, sweet girl ✨😭

 

 

 

 

This life adventure couldn’t have been more perfect.

I am whole heartedly convinced that heaven is real because of moments like these.

The stars aligned and my perfect little angels,

Shined down so much love it was undeniable.

 

From the location,

(holy smokes, those trees were majestic)

To the weather,

(cloudy, 60 degrees, shaded)

To the company,

(the best support system ever)

To the race,

(perfect course, nicest people, just above 500 marathoners.)

The race started at 7:45am,

With the countdown from 10…9… 8… 7..

It all kind of blurred out for me.

All of a sudden we were off.

All of a sudden it was time.

All of a sudden the last 6 months really didn’t matter, and in all honesty- nothing at that point really mattered.

We started running,

Slow and steady.

I trained at 9:30-10:00 min mile pace.

So that’s what we stayed at.

Mile 1,

Down.

(not without a quick pee break, because I have no bladder control)

Mile 2,

Down.

Running through the Red Woods was unremarkable.

Hands down one of the most

pure,

soul-serving,

gentle places I have ever been.

The air was light,

The trees were ginormous

And for those few hours, it honestly felt like we were running in paradise.

There were Aid stations every 3 miles,

The course was split into two routes.

The marathon started down one road,

Where we ran 6.5ish out,

Then back to the start.

The half-marathon and 10k runners started an hour later and ran the second half of the course.

Again,

6.5ish out and back.

As we ran along sky scrapper trees,

It seemed as though the miles were flying by.

Soon enough we were on the way back.

Mile 7.

We chatted with fellow runners,

Ran in silence,

Shared snacks,

And sincerely enjoyed the run.

Mile 13.

We came back in to where we started,

People cheering,

GU’s flying,

Pictures snapping.

And a “Run, Pinto, Run” from my dad

(that’s a story ill have to tell another time)

 

We spent the next few miles cheering, and being cheered on by the other runners finishing the half and 10k.

As we started on the second half of the marathon,

I couldn’t believe how well it was going,

The weeks leading up, I’m not going to lie,

I was shitting bricks.

I was scared, nervous, excited, and definitely not ready.

Part of me wished I had trained more,

The other part knew I did was I was supposed to do.

But there was a little part of me that was slightly terrified that I would not only let my sister down,

But also everyone who invested their time and energy into me and this training.

From my crossfit family who had to constantly hear me talk about running,

To my actual family who had to hear me whine, bitch and some days cry over how tired I was.

To my snapchat friends who lived through my endless pictures of all my “Views at mile __”

To my best friends that helped me with sports bras, chaffing cream, the heel toe express, the prayers,

The good vibes, the good luck flowers, the gifts, the cards, the snacks, the support and

honestly so much loving I definitely didn’t deserve.

Because some days I think to myself,

i don’t know what I did to deserve such wonderful humans in my life.

How people that I don’t even know, follow my story and adventures.

These are all the reasons that I was scared,

But these are also the reasons that I knew I would succeed.

 

“One foot in front of the other.”

“Just keep moving.”

And the Dixie Chicks,

“Ready to Run” song was what I kept in my head.

 

Mile 15.

After this mile everything else was a PR.

Mile 18.

This is where I thought things were going downhill fast,

I had really bad stomach cramps and I was starting to doubt myself.

I stopped at the bathroom and immediately after loosening my running belt I felt better.

Apparently I was just really bloated and my belt was too tight. whoops

Mile 20.

This is where I freaked out.

I told Sean, “WE JUST RAN 20 MILES, OUR LEGS JUST TOOK US 20 MILES. ALL WE HAVE IS 6 LEFT. WE CAN TOTALLY RUN 6 MILES. THAT’S EASY.”

I was in total shock,

How this race was going so fast,

And so well.

I read and heard so many people talk about a “wall” at mile 20-22.

Erin must’ve ran through the wall first, because it was not there.

Mile 24.

The realization that this was coming to an end actually made me really sad.

All of this training,

All of the time, and anticipation of this moment and it was coming to an end.

Part of me didn’t want to stop,

The other part couldn’t wait to stop, because holy shit my feet hurt.

(that’s the smart part of me)

Mile 25.

I started thinking about all the people I wanted to give my miles to,

All of the humans that had such a significant role in my life that I wanted to dedicate some of these miles to.

But how I knew that I wanted to keep one to myself.

As we hit

Mile 26,

I turned to Sean,

My brother,

My best friend,

My person,

And told him how thankful I was that we got to do this together.

My first marathon,

His first marathon,

Erins first marathon.

How amazing it was to be in this moment.

We ran over the bridge and made a slight right,

Running through the cones and the lined street of people.

As we came upon the finish line,

I was filled with so many emotions and waved at our friends and strangers,

As we crossed the finish line at 4:38

I couldn’t hold back the tears,

I couldn’t believe it was over.

This was hands down, 100% one of my favorite life moments.

 

 

After the race I got to thinking why I was so emotional about this whole thing,

And it made me realize,

Doing difficult things makes me feel more alive,

Its like the pain,

Or the chance of defeat,

is kind a like playing with fire.

I’ve realized that I’m not scared of much,

Definitely not death.

So these things that I challenge myself with is my chance to feel a little more alive…

A little more love,

A little more passion,

A little more life..

And I realized that maybe this is the same feeling people get when they are addicted to things.

But if that’s the case,

That’s fine,

Because I realized the thing I am most scared about in life

is being alive

But not really living…

 

Thank you to every single soul who read this,

And who invested something into this adventure.

 

It was even more than I ever envisioned,

And it exceeded every single expectation.

 

There’s nothing i did that was inspirational,

or incredible.

People run marathons all the time,

but there’s a handful of things in my life that I can say that im proud of myself for,

and this is definitely one of them.

 

I think I needed a doubt,

I needed a goal.

I needed something I knew I would hate,

So that I could love myself a little more for doing it.

 

 

Run for your life.

 

#26.2foryou

 

Thank you to The Oxfords who joined in on the running and all their support, to Jose Cerna who ran with us, My dad for being the best marathon cheerleader and all around support team a girl could ask for and to Sean, my go-to dude, thanks for laughing, crying and singing with me the whole time.

This was something so magical.

Sister-

Thank you for creating a path for me to follow, thank you for chasing your dreams and passions, even when it seemed silly. Thank you for loving me in a way that nobody ever has, and thank you for being my hero and best friend.

Your life is one ill forever carry with me.

This was for you,

And I couldn’t have asked for a better reason to do something I never thought I would do.

Thank you for making me a better person,

Thank you for being you.

I love you more-

 

“As we get older there is less and less opportunity to do things for the very first time,

i urge you to continue chasing things,

firsts,

but never forget the journey that brought you to this exact moment in your life.”

what a beautiful mess,

Choose love,

Kels

 

 

 

 

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