20 Dec Choose Love
.10 days out.
With the anticipation of my departure at an ultimate high, and my Going Away Party today, I can’t help but be reminded about how, and most importantly who, got me to this place.
When I think about this life changing endeavor I’m about to go on, I get an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am thankful for the past, the friends and jobs that I might not have but still silently support me and have made me who I am. I think about the present, my family, friends and everyone who has shared their positive thoughts and happiness with me and will always encourage and love me. And most importantly, the future, to the places and faces I will see and meet. The person I will grow into, and the experiences that I will stumble upon and change my life.
I can hardly believe that i leave so soon, a question that ive been getting a lot is “Are you ready?” With a huge grin, i say yes. Even though I don’t know if I am. I’m nervous as hell, that’s what usually rolls out of my mouth next. But nerves are good right? So here I am 10 days out extremely nervous but even more excited!
I’m about to get into my feelings right now, so be ready. I’m a huge fan of telling people daily that you love and care for them. This may sound extremely cliche, because it is… but you never know when you’ll lose them. And in my case, you might know that you are losing them, but youll never ever regret saying the words “I Love You” and “Thank you” too much. So that’s what this is…
I always knew that you were an amazing woman. Erin would brag and brag about how special you were to her. You took her in and became a mother figure for her after our mom passed away. You were her friend and She loved you so much. Thank you for loving her like your own and taking care of her like nobody else could. Then you became that for me, and I can’t thank you enough. From our lovely wine dinners, and pedicure dates to our Saturday morning hikes, you have been a breath of fresh air. I think we share a mutual secret in that we hold onto a little piece of Erin when we are together. I remind you of her and you remind me of her. Thank you for all of your love and gracious and ongoing support! You are an incredible woman and I am going to miss you so much!
wow, what a life we’ve already lived. Growing up you were always someone I looked up to and that won’t stop. You’re independence as the first born follows you with everything you do. You have this perfect way of making things seem so easy. You are smart and beautiful and one of the most loving people I have ever met. You always had the motherly instinct and shared so many qualities of mom. The way you naturally wrapped me in your arms and loved me after mom passed was exactly what I needed. I can’t thank you enough for being that person for me. You loved and protected Erin and I. One of the things I love most about you is how great of a mother you are. I love watching you with Shelby. You remind me so much of mom and it brings so much joy to my life. I know that you’ll always be the person I ask silly questions to and advice about weddings, babies and everything else I need! Thank you for being the sister and best friend I’ve needed in this life and letting me move in when i was homeless! You and Jeff are amazing and I can’t wait for the Pfeifer future. I love you!
I can’t even begin to fathom what life would be like without you as my brother. We have been through so much together. I say it like that because although my mind quickly brings me back to our time in Houston, we have had so many great times. You are my best friend. You let me be Erin and your tag along, your third wheel. Erin was my person, and even when we went back and forth about who was “in” and who was “Out” you always let me be apart of your adventures. You’ve taught me so much about life. How to love through the worst of times. How to laugh when tears are falling and how to be a good person, all the time. You are a good person Sean. That might be a weird thing to say, but there aren’t many in the world, but you are. You are soft spoken and gentle yet adventurous and powerful. You excel at everything you do… Partly because you are naturally good at everything, but also because you work your ass off. I love and admire you so much. Thank you for being my yoga, running, drinking, snowboarding, crossfit and road trip partner! but most of all thank you for being you and never leaving my side.
Ooooh my pooter. You are such a blessing to me. You have made each day home one to be thankful for. You are such a beautiful, smart and funny little girl. You have so much personality and everyone that meets you falls in love. I love how your eyes light up when you see me and the words, “hi auntie,” fly right out of your mouth. My heart has so much love for you and I don’t know how these past 2 years would have gone without you. You have no idea how much you truly mean to me. I can honestly say you have saved me in my darkest days. You are heaven sent and I’ll probably love you more than my own child. Haha I cant wait to watch you grow up and be your number one obsessive, crazy auntie! You are my favorite part of everyday! Keep your moms iPad close to you so when I FaceTime you, you can answer! I love you sweet girl!
You’re chaotic and free spirit has never left me without a laugh. You are by far the funniest person without trying. Half the time I have no idea what you’re talking about but that’s why I love you. Since the day we became friends you have never left my side. Through all the rough, and I mean realllllyyyyy rough times and most importantly, all of the unbelievably great times you have been there. If we aren’t together, people ask why. You are apart of my family and I am so proud of the woman and mother you are. Your spirit shines so bright. I am so thankful that you are in my life. I can’t wait to share more life adventures with you! You are the D to my K and my forever lady best friend.
I can’t believe how in just a year you have become such a large part of my life. You jumped right into our crazy family and have been nothing short but amazing. You fit into our lives perfectly and have been a constant friend to me these last 6 months. You make my dad happy and that makes me happy. You are understanding of the journey we have been on and you’re support and understanding has never gone away. Thank you for letting me be yours and my dads plus one on so many of your adventures. You are such a special addition to this family! See you in Australia with our matching purses!
It has taken me the longest to write this. Every time i started a sentence or have thought of something to say I just start crying. You are such a blessing. I have no idea how I got so lucky to have you as my father. Every little girl at some point believes that their dad is the smartest, funniest, wisest, loving and most of all greatest man on earth. I have yet to stop believing that. To me, you are the epitome of a man. You are compassionate and loving yet you are strong and hard headed. You fight for what you love and encourage the people around you to do the same. Your strength shines through for everyone to see and you laugh when others would cry. You have taken care of this family through the worst and best of times. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your ongoing, never ending support. You’ve let me run away and then taken me right back into your arms when I couldn’t stand on my own. You’ve inspired me to be the woman you and mom have raised me to be. There are no words that could possibly explain the love and respect I have for you, not only as my dad but as a good person in this world. I am going to miss you so much! Thank you for loving me and protecting me. Love you up to the sky.
Mama girl and sister:
My heart literally breaks thinking about you both. I miss you so much. When I think back to losing you from my life I don’t even know how I’ve made it this long or far. The only reason I know I am on the right path is because I know you wouldn’t let me go down the wrong one. You’ve guided me and loved me for 25 years and I know that you will only continue to help me grow this new year. Although I’m technically traveling alone, I know I’m not. You two will be with me the whole way. I am thankful I have the opportunity to live the life that was cut short for you. This is for you, my sweet angels. I love you, forever and ever.
Wow! There are so many more souls that have had and will have, a huge positive influence on my life. But I’ve been crying this whole time and I just don’t think y’all want read this sob fest anymore.
Shout out to:
Jeff, Taylor, Kayla, Heather, Erin, Kathy, Tomi, Darby, Jessica, Briana the Luciano’s and Turners.
The Wright and Cox family and all my extended family.
The happy hour crew and all my dads friends who are practically family.
Desert Devil Crossfit and all the wonderful people I’ve met there.
The Spot Nutrition and the Carrillo family.
And everyone else whose reading this. I appreciate the prayers, well wishes and good vibes being sent my way! Thank you for believing in my unplanned nonsense 🙂 I hope to make you all proud!
Thank you for loving me unconditionally and encouraging me when even I doubted myself.
So here’s to the adventures of Kelsey 2016…
It’s about to get real…
“I always wondered why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the Earth. Then I asked myself the same question.”
Oh and one last one… thank you to the boy who broke my heart…
Thank you for not choosing me.
Because now I get to do this, for myself and by myself and someday some man will come along and choose me, everyday, for the rest of his life.