& maybe this blog is about you…

After a few rough weeks of watching a few relationships in my life and others around me change it made me sit on a few harsh realities.

 

The one thing I will continue to always preach and pride myself on is that having hard conversations about love, loss and everything in between is the only way to really understand it.

Not only understand it for yourself and your own “book” of knowledge but to also understand how others

deal,

comprehend,

and heal through theirs.

By no means am I a relationship guru, nor do I think I am even good at relationships in the slightest bit.

(probably why I have been single for most of my life.)

But I do think that I’ve taken enough time to truly understand my outlook on relationships and my opinion on why they are so hard these days.

 

First and foremost, and I am speaking from experience,

So not only am I writing this for all to read, but for myself as well.

 

The truth:

If you never really heal from what hurt you, you will continue to bleed on those who didn’t cut you.

 

Wow.

And I mean wow.

 

This doesn’t just relate to romantic relationships either.

This is just reality.

Friendships, jobs, social norms.

 

It’s unbelievably easy to hold other people accountable for what they didn’t do.

It’s easy to put all men into a box just because one didn’t love you like they promised.

It’s easy to jump into a relationship to try to heal from the past one, to blur the feelings between heartbreak and a false sense of being wanted by another.

It’s easy to make excuses for the person who is broken, but never took the time to heal.

 

But what’s not easy, is to understand,

That hurt people continue to hurt people.

Broken people continue to break people.

 

See I’m starting to see this self-love movement, become quite risky.

The cycle of false “self-love,” is one that is more dangerous than that of an unhealed human.

 

I say false self-love because people cover their wounds with this fake image of taking care of themselves.

They put themselves “first” but forget how to be a decent human being.

They have been hurt, and cling to this self-love, but end up only looking out for themselves, at whatever menace that might create for others and most of the time,

themselves.

Then the cycle continues. so on, and so on….

 

What they don’t understand is that if you haven’t fully healed or come to terms with the past burdens that were put into your life you will ALWAYS treat similar situations with similar actions.

Hurt people push good people away,

They leave,

They walk out,

They put up emotional walls.

 

While protecting themselves,

They end up hurting others.

 

And most of the time they don’t even know they are doing it,

Its just, what they do.

It’s what has been done to them,

Or what they have always done.

 

Bosses,

Friends,

The random person on the airplane,

The love of your life.

Everyone is a little broken.

 

and while we all want to help people heal,

to help them change.

To be their saving grace,

You have to balance your love for them, and the love for you…

 

 

 

I don’t know all the answers,

Well let’s be honest,

I don’t have any of the answers.

I just have ALL the questions…

(literally all of them, I ask wayyyy too many)

 

But as I’ve seen relationships

Build.

Break.

Bend.

Then Repeat.

It has made me more aware of the way people bleed on those who didn’t deserve it.

(me included)

 

I just hope more people take a second to think a little more about it,

and take a second to talk about it.

 

So

Heal,

Recover,

Love,

Do those things for yourself,

But not at the expense of others.

 

Choose love for yourself,

But choose love for others too –

 

Kels

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