& I am STILL so proud of you for that…

A year ago, today,

I wrote this blog,

It was the first time I decided that I was going to write what was on my heart.

It was raw,

and real.

 

So REAL.

 

It was therapeutic and eye opening.

It was freeing

and sad.

Emotions poured out of me so easily.

I realized that feeling it, wasn’t good enough.

Sharing it,

was when I knew I would grow

and outgrow heartbreak.

 

A year later,

I re-read these words…

Proud of the woman I am today,

Proud of the woman I was on that day,

And heartbroken for the girl that was lost along the way.

 

But if there is anything I know,

it’s that the way you handle the unscripted moments of life,

is what determines your outcome.

 

& today?

Well, today is a good day, to have a good day!

I am unbelievably thankful,

that

this

is

my life.

& I got to choose it.

 

 

Choose love,

even when it doesn’t choose you.

 

 

 

 

 

You are love, and I choose you…

 

Well look at that, better yet, look at you.

You’ve made it. You’re still making it. And I know you will continue to make it.

You could say I’m biased because I am you, but sometimes convincing yourself of your accomplishments is the most difficult.

You’ve grown so much.

From the girl who was heartbroken and completely lost, to this undeniable steady and peaceful woman.

And I am so proud of you for that.

I know it’s hard, and I think it will always be hard. Because he was your best friend. He was the love you thought you earned.

He was your favorite part of everyday and your “I can’t wait to see you in the morning.”

But he wasn’t right for you, and only God knows why.

Sweet girl, you did what you had to do. You had to come home and surround yourself with the people you love the most.

You had to cry, and then cry some more.

And when all you wanted to do was call him and scream, you didn’t.

And I am so proud of you for that.

You let the man, who was once your whole world, completely tear that world a part.

You let him do that, because you knew you couldn’t stop it.

You begged and pleaded, but you promised yourself you would never beg someone to love you.

Because nobody should.

He embarrassed and completely let you down.

But you never let yourself down.

And I am so proud of you for that.

His actions didn’t match his words, and his sorrys didn’t cover the hurt.

You finally realized that you can’t carry some one else’s burdens.

But I am sorry that he ever made you feel powerless and hard to love.

Because you’re not.

And I am so proud of you for that.

And my goodness, you could’ve easily turned to another love, to another person to void the hurt and lonely you felt- like he did-

But you looked inside yourself, and you became your own soulmate.

And I am so proud of you for that.

And I’m sorry that you ever doubted that you weren’t enough, because for the right man you will be.

I promise you that.

This year has been so hard, but look at how much you’ve done.

look at the adventures and the life you’ve lived

How you’ve changed your cants into cans and your dreams into plans.

My dear, nobody saved you.

You saved yourself.

And I am so proud of you for that.

So I hope you never forget that.

Because every single day I am proud of the person you’re becoming,

Because every day, you’ve fought to become her.

 

So thank you for choosing joy, light and the higher route.

Because hate is easy, but after all that, after all this.

You have continued to choose love.

And for that, I am so so proud of you.

 

You are love, and I choose you.

Kels

 

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