31 Jul Puke. Cry. Be Mad… Just don’t quit…
“Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else. It’s the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells “CAN’T” but you don’t listen, you just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper, “CAN.”
And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you REALLY are.”
If there is one thing that CrossFit has taught me, it’s that I am capable of doing really hard things, over and over again.
My lungs burned,
My knee felt like it wasn’t connected to my body.
My hands were torn and tired.
My tongue was bleeding and swollen.
but Saturday hurt, so, so good.
After a few days of deliberation and talking myself in and out of registering for my first RX (prescribed) CrossFit competition, I decided to go for it.
Was I ready? Not really.
Was I scared? Hell yes.
Was I doubting my abilities? Absolutely.
But I think life is all about doing hard things. Doing things, you aren’t sure you are capable of.
Getting out of your comfort zone and not being the best, but trying your best.
Because those moments, and those instances where you remove that safety net and dive into doubt is when you grow into the human you’re striving to be.
So, myself and 4 other athletes from my CrossFit gym signed up to compete in the Independence Games hosted by Black Box Fitness in Albuquerque.
Earlier in the week they released the 3 workouts that we would compete in.
This is beneficial because it either makes you really excited
You get to spend the week convincing yourself that paying $75 to literally put yourself through hell is going to be “Fun”
Work out 1:
(as many rounds as possible in 10 min)
15 thrusters 65lbs
15 Toes to bar
Work out 2:
Clean and Jerk ladder
10 ascending weights
Athletes get 1:30 at each station to complete the lift to move onto the next weight.
If you are unable to lift it, complete as many over the bar burpees for the remaining time.
Work out 3:
3 Rounds for time
10 min time cap
75 double unders
The events started at 9am the divisions consisted of
same sex 2-person team scaled.
Individual women RX
Individual men RX
Individual firebreather women
Individual firebreather men
As we went through the day it was such a fun experience to be a part of.
This was my first RX individual competition and it definitely was a lot more daunting leading up to it then it ended up being.
The feeling of people pushing themselves to their limits was something you just can’t explain.
The skill levels ranged from beginners, people that had been doing CrossFit for less than a few months, to a 70-year-old man who decided to compete just for fun.
During the heats, you would find every competitor cheering on the others,
It’s a sport where the last person that finishes gets more cheers than the first.
Where nobody cares what gym you came from.
And where nobody let’s anyone, as much as they say they want to, quit.
At the end of the 3 workouts, I was in 2nd place.
My mini wins were:
Doing all 4 rounds of thrusters unbroken
PR clean and jerk at 155lbs
75 double unders unbroken.
At that point in time I had already surprised myself. I was already proud of the work I put in.
Thinking back to a year ago, coming back from Australia basically having to- get back into shape.
Not being able to do a pull up
And for sure not being comfortable at the weight at I was at or the shape of my body. (more round)
I took it as a challenge,
I told myself that since I was in a good place mentally, I wanted to push myself physically.
I wanted to challenge myself this year by focusing on my eating and training.
So, I started counting my macros and putting in the extra work.
Has it been easy?
I have failed so many times I have literally lost count.
Binged on chips and salsa,
I’ve drank too many beers at the lake.
I’ve ate halo top like it was going out of business.
I’m nowhere near perfect.
But what has remained the same is the consistency over the last 7 months.
Everyday my goal is to be a little better.
Does that happen every day?
But I’ve learned so much about my body,
my passions and most of all my mental capacity to do hard things.
I’ve learned what my “Why” factor is and that doing things that make me feel powerful and strong are things I want to keep doing.
As the finals approached we learned our fate:
The top 4 athletes in each division got to compete.
The final workout
30 deadlifts 165#
30 over the bar burpees
30 shoulder to overhead 95#
30 box jumps
30 kettlebell swings
30 calories on the assault bike
Time cap of 15 min.
I have never wanted to quit a workout so bad.
The internal conversations that happened within my head during this workout could’ve been turned into a horror movie.
I wanted to cry- which I did a little bit on the bike
I wanted to scream- which I did a few times during the shoulder to over head
My deadlifts were slow.
My burpees looked like a really horrible dance move
My shoulder to overhead took so long, I thought I was actually going to not finish.
My wrists felt like they were broken on each push.
The box jumps weren’t cute or athletic looking at all.
The kettle bell swings were the only thing that I had any control over, which that is still up for argument.
Then came that bike.
They call it an assault bike because it literally hurts so bad you feel like you are getting assaulted.
The harder you push, the harder it hurts.
You push and pull with your arms all while driving those peddles down and around with your legs.
every ounce of your body hurts.
By the time I got on that seat, I could’ve quit.
I had no energy.
I had no power.
My arms were lifeless
And my legs felt like anchors.
But my CrossFit family was right in front of me all along,
Telling me to go.
As horrible and horrendous thoughts were flashing into my head, I had to close my eyes. I went to a dark place. Even I don’t know where it was. The only way to make it end is to finish it.
So, I went,
I laughed at one point because I felt like a psychopath for putting myself through this much pain.
Then it ended.
I hit 30 cals and rolled off the bike.
I think I blacked out for a moment.
Then all was fine and I picked myself off the floor.
I ended up finishing 3rd.
Still hit that podium and hit a PR.
It’s funny because never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would do CrossFit.
And now I can’t imagine my life without it.
It’s not just the workouts,
It’s the community.
It’s the mental toughness,
It’s the feeling of lifting really heavy weight when before I couldn’t.
Its pushing myself to an extreme and then doing it again the next day.
Its priding myself off of doing great things,
and then swallowing my pride when i cant, or i have to scale down.
This weekend more than I could’ve imagined,
I met athletes that became instant friends and most importantly I had fun.
(who am I kidding I’m kind of pissed I didn’t win, because who doesn’t want to win)
But I am thankful for my abilities,
and the opportunity to continue to grow in this sport,
And not to be too cliché, but I can’t wait to look back in a year at this post and see how much better I am then now.
Life is all about making progress,
There’s no right or wrong.
It’s yours to discover,
But how beautiful is it that you get to choose it.
Thank you to my gym, my competitors and black box fitness for hosting.
But huge shout out to my cheerleaders,
holy moly the faces, the bitching, the moaning the ultimate crabby attitude and the fact that I was delusional throughout the last bit of that workout was taken and redirected with cheers, encouragement and foul language that I needed.
“Pick the f*cking bar up Kelsey, PICK IT UP!”
You guys are the real winners….
About 7 weeks ago I traveled to Arizona and went through my CrossFit Level 1 course.
I am now certified to coach CrossFit, and that’s what I started doing.
This is the last week of our very first 6-week kick start program.
It has been the most inspiring 6 weeks,
Meeting complete strangers and having them walk into a gym being uncomfortable, confused and out of shape,
To becoming friends and watching them grow in their fitness journey is pretty unreal.
I am so thankful for my kick starters and I cannot wait to watch them crush more workouts.
We are starting a new round in 2 weeks and would love for you to be a part of it if you are in Cruces.
This is not full on CrossFit, this is a 6-week introduction into fitness, its basic dumbbell, kettlebell, body weight movements.
Contact me for more info! I would love to spend an hour with you!
And i could talk all day about why i started crossfit, but ill let my people tell you for themselves….
With that being said,
Choose things that make you better,